The Art of Becoming Your Own Best Friend

Have you ever thought about the way you think of or talk to your self? The language you use? Or the tone you employ?
Most people scold and belittle themselves each time they make a small mistake. They might call themselves names like “stupid, stupid” or “silly me.” Or they might say, “I knew I was going to fail anyway; I am such a failure.” Thy might undervalue their achievements or find reasons why they succeeded -- only because they received help from someone or something else.
Think about this for a second! If your best friend treated you that way, called you names when you didn’t act perfectly, treated you harshly, put you down and abused you, discouraged you or made fun of your ideas and dreams, would you even call them a friend? I don’t think so.
If this is how you normally treat yourself, how could you expect to be happy or successful in any way when you yourself down and everyone else before you, regularly make disparaging remarks about yourself in your head and repeat the same negative talk over and over again?
Our subconscious is like an eager sponge, absorbing anything we think or say! Whatever you plant deep inside will be what you sow; therefore, when you talk down to yourself or treat yourself badly, guess what happens? Your subconscious receives this information, embeds it deep down inside you, and keeps reinforcing it every time you say or act in that particular way.
Let me give you an example. Let’s say you call yourself stupid as a joke. You hang out with people who use that word a lot, so you start saying it more often. Your subconscious starts processing this new piece of information as truth and begins to incorporate it into your being. Then the next time you face a challenge or come across a big opportunity, guess what? You immediately think: I can’t do that, I am stupid! And every time you make a small mistake you call yourself what? Stupid! And of course, you go about radiating this energy day after day, which attracts into your life people and situations that reinforce that belief into your being and subconscious.
The basis of this way of thinking is rooted in your beliefs about yourself and your capabilities. When you treat yourself badly, you abuse your body and mind. Not only will you build self-resentment, you will also start unintentionally inviting others to abuse you or take advantage of you. Eventually, you will end up wondering why everyone you meet and everyone around you treats you badly!
Yet there is a simple way to change your negative behavior toward yourself: become your own best friend. But how do you do that?
Begin looking at yourself from the perspective of a best friend. Think of yourself as someone you really love and appreciate. You may need to recall a friend or someone in your life who you truly cherish and who you accept exactly the way he or she is.
If you were that person’s best friend, the one who he confides in and asks for support or for his opinion, what would you do? Would you call him names in an abusive way whenever he makes a mistake? Would you discourage him from working toward his dream? Of course not!
This concept might be foreign to you, so you might really need to use your imagination here. Think about everything you say to yourself -- every feedback or opinion, every decision you make -- as if you were your own best friend. How well should you treat your best friend?
We all know how to love others, but we unfortunately don’t always love ourselves enough. The key to happiness, fulfillment, achievement and all goodness and prosperity in life is LOVING THE PERSON YOU ARE. I am not talking about vanity here. I am talking about approving of, appreciating and accepting the person you are, pursing your dreams and taking care of yourself in every possible way, health, Career, Relationships, you name it!
This concept is so important to grasp because when you know how to love yourself, you not only will enjoy your life more, you will take risks because you believe in yourself and your capabilities. When you have a healthy self-esteem, you will have much better relationships because they will be based on respect. You will realize your true potential, so you will no longer need to get your “fix” from others. You will no longer “beg” for approval or attention. You will already have everything you need to succeed, deep within you. You will become self sufficient because you will have learned how to become your own best friend.
Before you can expect anyone else to love and accept you, you must first learn to love and accept yourself!
Hanan Nagi

Executive & Personal Coach, Speaker

+971-50-145 70 55
hanan@transformlc.com

www.HananNagi.com
www.transformLC.com

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